What your self-talk can do to you…

We all have it.

Every single human in the world has their very own self-talk that is continually going.

It can be positive, negative, it can build you up, bring you down, make you smile, make you sing, make you cry, make you go completely bonkers but can also make you incredibly successful, happy and motivated.

You know what I am talking about right? That little angel or devil on your shoulder, telling you what you can or can’t do.

We make our way through each day with what we say to ourselves in our head. We make lists, recall memories, think, plan, prioritise, organise, tell ourselves off, give ourselves a pat on the back, laugh… it never stops. Our brain never stops this constant self-talk. We need it, it’s what makes us get up, move, sleep, eat, drive, work, play… it’s what makes us live.

What your self-talk can do to you

Self-talk also determines how we feel. It controls our confidence, self esteem, ability to socialise, our anger, our joy – basically our overall happiness.

It’s so important that we give our self-talk some attention and take control over it. Your self-talk, like your brain, is linked. Every word you say to yourself in your head gets linked to feelings and these feelings, well, they make us feel how we feel. Now I don’t know if you know, but words have energy, I’m not going all crazy here, but it’s true – trust me, even the ones you don’t say out loud can literally turn water black. I have seen and done my own home experiments on this.

What is your self-talk saying to you? Is your self-talk positive? Is it negative? Does it go around in circles? Are you too tough on yourself? Are you too easy on yourself? This in fact is just as bad. Do you manage it?

Are you in charge???

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5 Commandments to Thriving as a “Caretaker”

I dropped off some soup to a good friend recently because she was working, as she usually does on a Saturday, and I was thinking it would be nice if she came home to a nice dinner. She lives up the block from me so it didn’t feel like too much trouble.

Truth is that same weekend I did a lot of favors. I walked a friend’s dog while she was away for the weekend, picked up my sister at the bus stop when she worked late, and helped my other sister with her two little boys. Often people find this puzzling because I am a single mom and when my children go to their dad on the weekend I am often not doing as much relaxing or partying as one might imagine.

Truth is, I love doing nice things for the people I care about. It makes me feel good. I give out to the world the love and caring I would hope to get back

I’ve been called a classic “caretaker.”

5 Commandments to Thriving as a CaretakerPhoto by Karolyn Petrucci

What kind of person is a caretaker?

If you look it up in Psychology Today they will tell you I have some issues

A caretaker puts the needs of others before their own. They aren’t really good at taking care of themselves. They have a hard time saying No. They are usually out to “fix” or “save” their partner.  They do not like conflict.  A lot of times they have low self esteem and anger issues. They can’t understand why others do not behave the same way. In essence, this trait develops due to certain experiences during their youth.  The caretaker normally would have been brought up in a home where their emotional needs were not met.  It would not be uncommon for a child of an addict or a child with a parent who is somehow unwell to become a caretaker as an adult.

Hmmm… so I took a really long look at myself in the last few years.

The process of self-discovery

The divorce:

I went though a divorce between 2009 and 2010. Looking back, I would say the relationship was flawed from the start.  With hindsight I can definitely see that I entered into the relationship as the caretaker.  I actually knew it. I remember thinking that he is a good guy, he just needs a little direction. He was very happy to be taken care of for the most part. My ability to take charge and run with it suited him fine. It felt normal and comfortable. I was happy to do it.

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Here’s what happens when a couple cooks together

Why It’s Important to Have a Healthy (Food) Relationship with Your Significant Other

It’s all too easy for couples to fall into the same old, take-out routine. When “Honey, do you want pizza for dinner?” and “Hey, how about Chinese tonight?” become your daily dinner-talk, it’s time to change a few things.

Not only does cooking healthy food at home help your body and your health, it’s also a great way for couples to spend time together.

When couples cook together...

I know what you’re thinking: “But we’re SO busy!”

That may be true, but being busy is no excuse to neglect your significant other, and it certainly isn’t an excuse to eat take-out 5 nights a week.

My husband and I cook together regularly, and we have a great time doing it! That’s why I’d like to share with you what I feel are some of the most important reasons to have a healthy food relationship with your significant other:

Reason 1: It encourages you to be an awesome team

When you and your spouse cook together, you naturally decide who does what tasks, you maneuver around one another, and there’s usually a fair amount of passing salt shakers and spices back and forth.

When you act as a team, you not only get your meal prepared faster, but you’re also more satisfied with your dinner, and you get to interact with one another throughout the entire process.

Unlike my grandparents’ version of cooking dinner, which involves my grandfather watching TV while my grandmother cooks in the kitchen, cooking dinner with your spouse lets you catch up on the day, laugh together, and spend what precious little non-working time you have in each other’s presence.

What happens when you order takeout? You sit on the couch and shovel pizza into your face, right? (I do.) Doing something active and engaging with your spouse to get dinner ready is a much more proactive way to eat together. Not only will you have a healthier relationship, but you’ll find yourself eating healthier foods as well.

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Is your cookware secretly killing you? And what to do about it.

If you’re like most Americans, you cook your food without giving it much thought. However, have you ever considered that what you’re cooking your food IN could possibly be giving you health problems?

Millions of Americans suffer from long lasting, debilitating diseases such as fatigue, depression and anxiety. Many of these ailments can be linked to what you cook your food in. Here are some of the more popular cooking options and what you need to know about each option…

Is your cookware killing you? And what to do about it!

Non-Stick Cookware

Non-stick cookware is one of the most popular cookware forms in the United States. One of the biggest health risks to cooking with non-stick cookware is it contains perflyorooctanoic acid. In animal studies, the use of PFOA has caused health risks such as:

  • Tumor growth
  • Toxic changes in the brain and kidneys
  • Changes in the pituitary gland
  • Danger to newborns
  • Weakened immune system
  • Miscarriages

Additionally, when you cook with non-stick pans, you release toxic fumes into the air when cooking at high temperatures. The coating can break down and turn toxic at only 446 degrees Fahrenheit. That means that both you and your room mates or family members are at risk of breathing in harmful substances when you cook. Aside from that, do you really want a chemical spill happening in your food??

Aluminum Cookware

In recent studies, using aluminum cookware has been linked to the early-onset of Alzheimer’s. Aluminum is a reactive metal, therefore, when you cook with acidic or salty foods the aluminum will release itself into your food as you cook it. Aluminum can by toxic to the tissues in your nervous system and, when it accumulates in the body, can result in “severe mental deterioration.”

It would likely take many years of excessive aluminum cookware use to negatively affect you, and of course your lifestyle and genetic predispositions to Alzheimer’s will also impact your health risks. However, it doesn’t hurt to be on the safe side. Start searching for alternative pans like the ceramic and green cooking pans I mention down below.

Stainless Steel Cookware

Stainless steel is a fairly safe option but these pans do contain carbon, chromium, nickel and other various metals. These metals can surface when highly acidic foods have been cooked in the cookware or when the cookware is used excessively.

What you really need to watch out for is when your stainless steel pan gets scraped or misshapen. Deformities in these cooking pans can allow the metal base of the pan to touch your food, making it easier for harmful metals to seep into your meal.

Now let’s get into some good options…

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