[Disclaimer: this post was written and hidden in my drafts section since January. I was debating whether I should post it or not because it's pretty personal. But I finally thought - why not? So here goes...]

Have you ever noticed there was a pattern in your behavior ever since you were little?

Not necessarily positive or negative; just a certain behavior that has been a recurring pattern or theme through your whole life. It often goes unnoticed. It’s gone unnoticed for me for all 23 years of my life.

Until now.

After weeks of convincing from a friend, I finally purchased Geneen Roth’s book Women Food and God. I began reading it with the purpose of finding some solace from eating issues I’ve struggled with over the last 4 years. While the book is very insightful, I have found something interesting in myself that is not necessarily food-related.

Geneen Roth states that how we eat is a direct image of how we see ourselves and the world. She emphasizes the importance of facing the issues and emotions that may arise rather than numbing them using food. We eat compulsively because we refuse to deal with a certain emotion that may otherwise cause us pain. We want to avoid that pain, although unconsciously, so we reach for food to keep ourselves occupied, to feel comforted, to numb and dilute the feelings of boredom, sadness, loneliness, pain.

While it took me a while to follow along with what Geneen was talking about in her book, I am now starting to understand what she means. It is important that we learn to face our issues and our emotions, whether they are positive or negative. If we don’t feel- we don’t live. Because to live doesn’t mean you’re alive. Living means that we experience life rather than float through it. We notice how we struggle and deal with problems; we notice the beauty around us and within us; we learn about ourselves and we are eager to better ourselves emotionally and spiritually.

I had a slight epiphany. It does not have to do with food but it is an interesting realization anyway. It is something I have not noticed about myself until now [aka: January]. Geneen emphasized the importance of looking within ourselves: how we feel, how we act, where we came from. I looked within myself to see how I’ve always acted. What I found is something entirely nonfood-related. But just because it’s not at the root of my eating issue, doesn’t mean it’s not extremely interesting!

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How often do you have breakfast for dinner?

I actually have breakfast for dinner quite often. It’s one of my favorite things to have for dinner to tell you the truth. This kind of “Breakfast After Dark” is not only easy and quick, it is also so delicious and comforting! Especially the Egg White Grilled Cheese with Mixed Greens that I created as my Breakfast After Dark recipe that I am sharing with you today.

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A few months ago, I gave up on dieting and picked up the Intuitive Eating book. The book was very eye opening and enlightening. The intuitive eating approach seemed like the perfect approach for me – I like food, I have a history of losing and gaining weight, and the restricting and bingeing behaviors. The relationship with food and exercise I had in the previous years was disordered and lead me to some depressive thoughts, feelings of guilt and shame, as well as low self-esteem.

When you restrict for extended periods of time, you end up binging and filled with guilt. I have had countless occurrences where my eating habits and poor self-image have prevented me from leaving my apartment. I have refrained from attending numerous social events because I felt that I was too fat to have friends or have fun (I was 15 pounds over my goal weight, at the most). I now realize how ridiculous this sounds. There is no such thing as being too fat to have friends, what the hell?! Like I said, my mentality was very disordered and my thinking and emotions were ruled by how I ate that particular day and what the scale said.

Fast forward to the breaking point. I have worked on rejecting the dieting mentality and allowing myself to eat whatever I want. I gained a few pounds in the process. Trying not to worry about it. I stopped exercising because I simply focused on listening to my body. In the past, I associated exercise with weight loss exclusively and I did not really see or do it for any other reasons. Because I stopped thinking about dieting, I also stopped exercising to let my thoughts go back to neutral and become as non-judgmental as possible. I worked on stopping my emotional eating (still a work in progress). I listened to self-hypnosis for intuitive eating with the purpose of clearing emotional roadblocks (which I absolutely recommend!).

Everything was going great until my trip to New York City during which I indulged a lot and seemed to have lost some of the intuitive eating practice I newly acquired.

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Disclosure: All thoughts and opinions are my own, I am happy to have this opportunity to tell my story as part of this sponsored campaign from Bedsider.org

I don’t talk about intimate things often and let me assure you, this post will not be intimate in the way you think it could be. There will be no crazy sex stories here, you can go find an erotica section online – this is not it. Today, I wanted to share my experience with birth control. I know most women think about the options but many are afraid to speak about it.

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I don’t do money giveaways often. Or ever, really. Especially not huge group ones like the one I have for you today. But since I realized that I am growing up (video), money is starting to get really tight and I think many of you can relate to this feeling! That’s why I think this is a great chance for me to give you this opportunity for winning $100 PayPal cash. Who doesn’t love free money? Exactly.

Also, remember that the giveaway for a NuNaturals Stevia package is STILL going on. Check it out and make sure to make yourself this delicious Double Chocolate Microwave Mug Cake! You will die and go to heaven with one bite. <3

And once you’re done entering the giveaways, why don’t you check out these amazing 40 Recipes for Mother’s Day brunch & dessert I compiled from the Web?

Good luck!

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A year ago I participated in the very first edition of the Virtual Vegan Potluck with an amazingly delicious and healthy vegan Strawberry Banana Bread. Today is the 1 Year Anniversary of the Potluck and I am participating once more! This time I am bringing you something equally as awesome and delicious – and of course, it’s vegan Say hello to Chocolate Peanut Butter Chia Puddings!

I’ll admit, this was not the original plan for my recipe feature. I was gonna make a crock pot chocolate peanut butter cake at first. So I did, I put all the ingredients in the crock pot and followed directions I found online with some of my own alterations. The original recipe said it should cook on high for 2-1/2 hours. Mine was cooking on already 5th hour and it was STILL not the way it should be as described in the recipe. And flavor-wise.. not a big fan either. So 5 hours went to waste and a bunch of ingredients. Oh well.

I knew I wanted to make something chocolate peanut butter but I was not gonna risk another failure. It’s my first week at my new apartment and the appliances seem to be a bit out of whack so I wasn’t gonna make anything baked, just in case it didn’t turn out again! Check out my video on how I know I’m growing up to see where I’m at with my life right now, so I didn’t want any additional problems right now. Too much stress ain’t good.

I’ve made Chocolate Chia Pudding before and I loved the result each time. So why not add peanut butter to the mix to make it even more awesome? I love desserts that can be eaten for breakfast and this is exactly what this Chocolate Peanut Butter Chia Pudding is! It’s delicious and chocolatey enough for dessert, but healthy enough for breakfast!

Should I mention that this recipe is also totally sugar free? That’s right. A pudding that is VEGAN, SUGAR FREE, and DELICIOUS. Hallelujah, they said.

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When did you realize you were growing up? What were these factors that made you look at your life and say “Wow, when did I become a full-on adult?” This is what has happened to me very recently.

Things are changing and my life is going with it. It’s overwhelming but exciting at the same time. Watch the video below and let me know what are some of the things that made YOU realize you were really growing up?

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I have the best Mom in the world. It’s true. And yes, my opinion is subjective. I’m sure you think the same of your mom too. Or your grandma. Or your aunt. Or whoever it is that you call “Mom.” Whoever that person may be, I believe one of the best ways of expressing our love is through a delicious recipe. Recipes that ALL include an important ingredient: LOVE.

Whether you prefer to make brunch or dessert for your mom – I collected recipes from around the Web that are sure to satisfy and wow your darling Mother. But remember, food isn’t enough – be sure to actually tell her you love her too and give her a nice big hug. She’s done so much for you already! It’s her day! Happy (early) Mother’s Day!

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I don’t use the microwave often, but when I do… I make microwave mug cakes.

Not just any microwave mug cakes either. You know me. You expected this. This comes as  no surprise.. the microwave mug cake of the day is filled with protein and CHOCOLATE. Oh, of course. You aren’t actually surprised, are you? My Instagram has been filled with these lately.

I love chocolate. Chocolate on chocolate. Add protein into that and I automatically feel THAT much better about eating it This is the best invention ever to come to chocolate cake lovers – period. Seriously. Think about it… You get a craving for chocolate cake. You don’t have any chocolate cake. Chocolate cake takes a while to bake. The store is also too far away for you to go just to get some cake. Plus, you only want a little, not a whole cake… But you have a microwave. You have a mug. And you have all of the ingredients. Thanks to the wonders of microwave gods and whatever else you wanna thank, the only thing that is standing in between you and that delicious double chocolate cake is 2-3 minutes it takes to make it.

That’s correct. It only takes 2-3 minutes to MAKE this double chocolate microwave mug cake. Are you in heaven yet? Just wait till you actually try it! THEN you’ll reach paradise!

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I love Protein Shakes. I have made many in my time – all kinds of different ones. All of which taste like dessert – but the beautiful thing is that they are healthy, protein-packed and delicious! I have never made a veggie-full protein shake yet so this is not what this post is about. This post is about what goes in a protein shake recipe – not one particular recipe, but any recipe that I make for protein shakes! Basically, these are the things I always keep on hand so I am able to create any kind of dessert-y protein shake my heart desires, at any time!

What kind of protein shakes are my favorites? Glad you asked. Here’s a list of some of the most delicious protein shakes I have made before, all of which are great for clean eating, but still taste like dessert – for breakfast!

The checklist lists all of the ingredients I usually have on hand that allow me to create any protein shake I would ever want (that I like).

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