Remember when we talked about the connection of femininity and body image? Check it out here.
Are body image issues and the inability to reach an orgasm LINKED?
Could having more orgasms help you change your negative body image?
Let’s find out…
- 43% of women struggle reaching orgasm
- 70% of women are unable to have an orgasm from vaginal intercourse
- 80% of women judge their body
- 46% of those women are unable to reach orgasm due to the body judgment
When I look at these statistics and from my experience coaching thousands of women, I automatically link the pieces together that body image issues PREVENT orgasms. But can orgasms prevent body image issues?
Gert Holstege at the University of Groningen published a study stating that during sexual stimulation, frontal brain centers that monitor behavioral control, fear, and anxiety slow down, and at the time of orgasm, they shut down.
I’ve worked with many women who are unable to have an orgasm who are major control freaks. From personal experience, when they let go of control, they allow their body to experience the “BIG O.”
Body image issues are connected to control, fear, AND anxiety.
If you judge your body, you are controlling your experiences based on how you feel about your body (i.e. needing to have sex with the lights off). If you judge your body, you may fear what other people think of your body. If you judge your body, you may experience feelings of anxiety about your body not being perfect or skinny enough.
Judgment begins in your mind. I often refer to it as the ‘monkey mind’. Once it starts, it’s hard to shut off, and the longer you perpetrate it, the more real it becomes. It’s not real; it’s a creation of yours. What you judge of your body is not what others judge of your body.
Heck, if they’re even judging your body, which 99% of the time, they’re not!
Judgment is not a truth; it is merely YOUR perception.
So how often do you spend time in your MIND versus being present with your body? (tweet this)
When you’re willing to be present with your body, love your body, nurture your body, know your body, enjoy pleasure with your body, and not judge your body, then and only then will you be able to enjoy every second of life.
Now let’s move on to how orgasms can assist your negative body image.
OSHO, an Indian mystic, once said that there are 2 times in your life when you are truly connected to your source: during uncontrollable laughter and at the time of orgasm.
When you are turned on and reach orgasm, your mind shuts off and your brainwaves slow to that of deep meditation. You are connected to your source, which is truth.
Like I said earlier, judgments are not truth, there are merely false perceptions appearing real.
Therefore, judgments and orgasms cannot and do not exist together.
Think about the last time you had an orgasm: did your to-do list or tomorrow’s worries cross your mind at the time of orgasm?
Most likely not.
Because your mind has shut off. The more you can live in this turned-ON state and allow your body to relax into orgasm, the less body image issues you will have.
And in time… you will begin to love your beautiful body.
Orgasmical Love,
Dr. Shelly
Additional resources:
Feminine Meditation: http://orgasmicalmedicine.com/product/orgasmitation-embracing-your-sensuality-sexuality-femininity/
Body Image Webinar Archives: http://forms.aweber.com/form/42/2051876542.htm
Upcoming Sexuality Webinar: http://bit.ly/fsd2fsp
Questions for you:
- What do you think about this concept?
Let us know in the comments!
Normally I don’t read article on blogs, however I wish to say that this write-up very forced me to try and do so!
Your writing taste has been surprised me. Thanks, quite great post.
I think the concept makes sense… we spend way too much time (myself included) worrying about how we look & what others are thinking about us. Sometimes we just need to let it go.
Well, I have to say, I certainly have never heard of anyone’s approach to female sexual health similar to the way it is written in Dr. Shelly’s bio…whatever way works for an individual in healing her relationship with her body image and self-esteem is worth supporting. I am all about an individualized approach to health and healing rather than a “one-size-fits-all” method…interesting to say the least.
Well, looks like I am going to need to up my sex-age! 😉 However…. from my self confidence, one might think I am having sex 800000 times a day! LMFAO!
I completely agree with that: there are very few problems an orgasm can’t solve. Bliss = happiness and we realize what the important things in life are…or we realize that we were worrying or fretting for nothing. Great post!
Amen sister! 🙂