What to Do When Everything Your Boyfriend Does Annoys You
It's a fantastic feeling when you are in love with someone else.
You can't wait to see them and you want to spend a large amount of your time with this one person. You won't be able to get enough of them at first.
However, when you spend a lot of time with one person, you can start to get on each other's nerves.
We all need a break every now and again.
But while they might annoy you a little bit, you are starting to hit dangerous territory if it becomes a regular occurrence.
You might start arguing a lot and then end up heading for Splitsville if you are not careful.
But splitting up doesn't have to be the answer.
If you are thinking "Everything my boyfriend does annoys me lately", here are a few things to do so you can make this a thing of the past.
Not like I'm uber-qualified to give relationship advice, but hey I've had my fair share of ups and downs on relationships and here's what I've learned.
Note: The first and foremost thing you need to understand is that this is a completely natural occurrence and there is no reason to feel guilty. You don't have to beat yourself up about getting annoyed, but if you want to make your relationship work, there are definitely some positive steps that you need to take.
It's important that you realize this as it happens and nip it in the bud. Letting these feelings fester for too long without proactively doing anything about it will lead to resentment and issues that will be difficult to get over in the long run.
1. Get some space
Being in each other's pockets can be quite overwhelming.
You are seeing the same person all the time and it can make the relationship much more intense than it needs to be. This is especially true if the relationship is serious and you're spending a lot more time together, or if you've moved in together.
Small things can turn into big problems and you could be heading for a split if you keep going in this direction.
Therefore, it's time to consider getting some space. This doesn't mean going on a break. It just means spending some time apart with friends and family and getting involved with some of your hobbies.
You will find that doing things you want to do can give your mind a break from the relationship and having a laugh with other people you love will really help you to be refreshed.
While you are getting some space, avoid talking about your other half. After all, this might bring up bad feelings and won't allow you to get the breather you need.
Therefore, get some space away from your beau where you can think about other things. If you're constantly feeling annoyed by your partner, it's good to step out for a second and breathe.
You will find that the next time you see each other, you will feel a lot more positive and you will have other things to talk about which can be good.
After all, if you are together all the time, you will have nothing to chat about. Long-term relationships can get hurt because of over-exposure.
A lot of couples find that with a bit of space, they are soon back on good terms. It gives you time to miss and appreciate your other half too, so you will think more fondly about them when you see them.
Breaks don't have to be very long, either! Just retire to a spare room and pick up your favorite hobby, go for a walk in a park, meet up some old friends, or even go catch a movie by yourself.
Remember: when you're giving yourself space, you're giving your SO space too, so it works both ways!
2. Talk through your issues
When you keep arguing with your boyfriend, it's often due to bottling things up.
By doing this, you can get angrier inside and little things which might not have annoyed you about your boyfriend before will now seem like big problems.
You might even start to dislike your partner.
Also, if you are holding something inside, your boyfriend might not know what's wrong.
So, you might be in a mood with them and they won't realize there is a problem. In fact, this can cause huge problems between you both.
He might not want to spend time with you anymore if you are being off and then things might end sooner rather than later.
Therefore, the best thing you can do when you feel annoyed is to be open and talk to him.
Explain to him what has upset you straight away after he has done it. Tell him how he can change his behavior and what you would like him to do differently next time.
If your boyfriend knows that he has done something that upsets you, he will realize he should change things.
And by telling him straight away, it is less likely to turn into a row. After all, honesty is the best thing for a relationship. And you are more likely to work through things and be stronger at the end of it.
A good relationship is founded on good communication.
Be frank and upfront, but with compassion
I can't really repeat this enough. Communication is key to get any relationship to succeed. Without communication, you'll both end up holding things inside.
In fact, a lack of communication actually causes problems everywhere.
Let's say you're having issues with your SO in one particular area. Sometimes, your SO may not even realize that what he or she is doing is hurting your feelings! Unless and until you can communicate what you want and expect, you'll keep running into roadblocks.
Another key factor is being compassionate when you communicate your problems. The minute your tone becomes even slightly accusatory, your partner may become defensive. Instead of feeling encouraged to work out your issues, you and your partner will both close up even more.
I feel like this is better illustrated with an example:
If you're having intimacy issues(where one partner wants it less and the other wants it more), the partner wanting it more can breach the issue in one of two ways:
1. "You never have sex with me anymore! It used to be so good and now it's like this!"
Read in an angry mental voice for better effect
Obviously, this will cause your partner to go on the defensive and they'll probably bring up other issues!
2. "I really enjoy being intimate with you and I wish we can take out more time for it."
Read in a compassionate, soft mental voice for better effect
Instead of accusing your partner, this time, you're starting with something positive - you're telling your partner you enjoy being intimate with them and you want more of that enjoyment.
Just changing the phrasing is certainly no guarantee that they'll remove their clothes and throw themselves on you at that very moment but it certainly will open up the door for more meaningful conversation and working towards a solution!
3. Work on your own(personal) problems
When somebody is really annoying you, it can sometimes be best to look closer to home when you want to fix the problem. After all, it could be your own mindset which is causing you to get annoyed constantly by your boyfriend.
Stop looking outside, start looking inside.
If you are having issues at work, you might be taking out your frustrations and annoyance on your boyfriend. Or if you are having problems with your friends or family, you might be looking at your boyfriend differently.
It might be the case that you have anxiety or depression if nothing is making you happy about your other half anymore. Maybe even not feeling up for sex at all.
After all, if you constantly have a low mood and feel stressed out, you won't feel happy with anyone
Therefore, work on your own problems to ensure that you are no longer the problem. And if you solve these deeper issues, you will soon find you feel a lot happier with your boyfriend.
You are bound to enjoy the time you spend together a lot more.
If everything is annoying you about your boyfriend, it's possible you should rethink the relationship.
After all, you want to be with someone you love and care about. And if you have started to dislike your other half, it might be the case you are not right for each other. Take a break to see if you start feeling differently about him.
Otherwise, it might be time for a split so you can find someone new who you do like.