I am giving up

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Video caution: Profanity ahead.Β 

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qIJF82tkR94&feature=youtu.be]

Picking up Intuitive Eating was a great choice.

I feel like I really needed to do this. I am surrendering myself to the tactics of the book.

I am ready to fix my relationship with food and my body.

I am throwing out all diet and weight loss talk out the window.

It will be hard. But I need to do this. I am reading the book little by little, spending each day on one principle so that I can allow each one to soak in fully. I really want this to work. My life is not where I want it to be right now and neither is my mental state and self image. I am allowing myself to eat whatever I want. I feel that I already weigh a bit more but I am trying not to care. They described this to be normal. I trust the process and I trust that everything will turn out well in the end. I’d rather gain a few pounds now than keep gaining and losing weight over and over and damaging my self esteem further.

So this blog is going to change. No more diet talk. I am focusing on happy talk. Uplifting talk. I deserve to be happy. I deserve to have a normal life. Wish me luck!

I’d love to hear your experiences with intuitive eating.

Leave some feedback in the comments below.

Last Updated on March 29, 2019

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  1. I so need to read this book. I am feeling your mojo!!!!! keep sharing about this! would love your breakdown of the points.

  2. I can’t watch the vlog right now because I’m at work and don’t have speakers on my computer lol, but I am reading the book too and can’t wait to hear your thoughts!

  3. I wish you well with your quest!

  4. YES!! I am so so so proud of you, I think this is going to be great for your life – let your body be the weight that it wants to be and it will be happy and YOU will be happy and that’s when you’ll be most beautiful!

  5. Aww Kammie, I’m glad you’re doing your own thing. And you’re crazy girl, you’re way prettier than the other girls at the club!!

  6. Thanks for posting this video. I feel the same as you, I only have 11 pounds to lose until my goal weight and I feel like I just can’t diet anymore! Maybe I’ll give intuitive eating a try.

  7. Good for you Kammie. Not to be too personal, but I think you are beautiful. πŸ˜‰

    We don’t know each other but I appreciate your honesty in the video and am very proud of you. I’ve tried counting calories many times and just can’t do it either. It messes with my mind and I always feel starving and that in itself is not healthy at all. I am so glad you mentioned this book and that you are on your way to a happier, healthier lifestyle. I wish you the best of luck and can’t wait to hear about updates on your new approach!

    • You are so sweet and thank you for sharing your own struggle too. I think happiness should be the ultimate goal, not weight loss. It’s a mental thing, not the physical. Thank you for watching and taking the time to leave a comment πŸ™‚

  8. I said peace out to dieting last May and have lost 45 lbs since that day. I stopped counting everything, weighing and measuring foods and no longer wear a HRM/calorie counter when working out. It’s a whole new (AMAZING!!!) world. Welcome πŸ™‚

  9. Oh, hun. I 100 per cent get where you are coming from. It kind of dawned on me today that I am obsessed with what I eat and what I don’t eat and how many calories or points or how much sugar or fat I eat.

    I am totally the same about social situations. They scare me because I want to have a good time, have a glass of wine, hell, have a piece of cake but there is a little voice in my head that says “don’t do that, you will get fat.”

    I’m really looking forward to hearing your progress with the book.

    • Man, we are so alike it sounds like. I hate those pesky thoughts that categorize foods as bad or good and make us guilty for eating. That’s why I want to do this. I want to just be able to enjoy life and all it’s glory, not be brought down by food obsessions. Thank you for watching and leaving a comment!!

  10. it’s definitely a difficult road a first, but so worth it!! Kudos to you for sharing this so others can understand the fear and work through it

  11. Good luck, girl! I know it’s going to be a hard journey, but you can do it!

  12. Thank You soo Much for posting this video. This has made me realize a lot! I want to let you know you are not alone!!! I’m so proud of you! Thank You Thank You thank you! Stay strong!!

    • Thank you so much for your words, you rock! I’m glad you found the video helpful and I hope you stick around on the blog. Good luck to you as well πŸ™‚

  13. Wow Kammie, you have no idea how much I appreciate you making this video. I’m in pretty much the exact same situation as you in terms of yo-yoing and stuff like that. I am totally sick and tired of it. I have the Intuitive Eating book, but I never really finished reading it. I’m getting to it asap.

  14. This vlog seriously inspired me, I hope you know that. I have the book on hold at the library right now thanks to you. I am SO out of touch with my body and it’s driving me crazy. CRAZY. A million thank you’s for posting this.

  15. I applaud you! I only have gotten happier since trying to be intuitive and trust my body and learn what works best for it. Our bodies were made a certain way and trying to make them adhere to specific diets is not true to each of us. Good luck and I’m thinking of you!!

  16. I need to work on this. Right now I count calories and do really well some days. However, when I go off the deep end I feel so full I am going to vomit, but still keep eating sometimes. Yikes!

    • I know exactly wht you mean, I’ve been there so many times before. I have purged a few times too (not many thank god) because I would be so incredibly uncomfortable. It’s a scary thing, this lack of control.

  17. Hey Kammie,
    Thank you for opening up and being honest. I’ve been following you for a while and first of all– I think I’ve mentioned to you before–you are gorgeous!!! You have a really pretty and lean figure.
    I know it doesn’t help when others say that because you have a specific ideal in your head–I’ve been there– but it’s true.
    I feel like I was hearing my own story. I never feel thin enough or happy with my body and am also always looking for the perfect workout/ diet to achieve that stupid perfect number on the scale..
    We literally become slaves to that scale.
    I think IE is something that could work for you–but have you thought about maybe therapy?
    I know it’s hard to find a therapist that you click with but in my experience therapy can help you with these feelings of self-love and self-acceptance.
    I know these are things I need to work on too.
    If you ever want to talk you can always email me.
    PS: you’re moving to my hood! I live in east lakeview. Maybe we could meet up for coffee sometime πŸ™‚

    • Aw thanks love. I actually did go to a therapist for a while 2 years ago but it was not a good experience and I felt like it was a waste of money. Being as resourceful as I am, I think I can accomplish this on my own. Well, and with support from you and the blog community!! πŸ™‚

  18. Congrats to you on opening up about your feelings! So many people can relate to this. Intuitive eating works!

  19. Girl, I’m so proud of you for posting this. It takes a lot of bravery to be that honest with yourself, never mind the entire Internet. I’ve got a lot of respect for you πŸ™‚ I really, really hope you’re able to find peace through intuitive eating. I was actually just reading a post the other day by another blogger about intuitive eating, and it makes me happy to see this kind of talk in Blogland, because I think it’s a really healthy relationship to have with food. Ultimately, food exists to fuel your body and keep you functioning, but it’s hard to take your mind out of the equation and just let your body speak to you in terms of what it needs. I know this is something I certainly struggle with (especially in the realm of eating because I’m supposed to (i.e.: it’s lunch time right now, therefore I will eat right now) vs. eating when I’m hungry (i.e.: it’s lunch time right now, but I’m not hungry right now, so I’ll wait until I am hungry to eat)) and I’m really looking forward to hearing how things go for you!

    Though I may not spend much time at schwanky clubs, given that I’m definitely NOT a nightlife photographer, I can really relate to your sentiment about wanting to look like those girls because you want that kind of attention (which is a poor paraphrase of what you said, but I think you get what I mean). Something that I try to keep in mind when it seems like everyone around me BUT me is hooking up is that ultimately, I honestly probably don’t want to be with a guy that’s attracted to those kind of women anyway. Like you said, they’re fake. Those perfect bodies rarely happen naturally, but are more likely the result of unhealthy eating habits, unhealthy exercise habits, or surgical procedures. The guys that chase those girls are not looking for a wife. They’re probably not even looking for a girlfriend. They’re looking for someone to take home and have a good night with before they walk of shame it to the Red Line the next morning. While that may be fulfilling for an hour or two, I’d really rather spend my time with someone who’s not going to bolt once the sun creeps up over Lake Michigan, you know? And I get the feeling of not wanting to settle because trust me, I’ve definitely been there, and being the single lady that I am, I’m not going to sit here and be all, “Someday your prince will come and he’ll be the most magical, wonderful thing that’s ever happened to you!” because that’s probably my LEAST favorite thing to be told, but I really believe that while we may be attracted to a lot of people, ultimately we’re most attracted to the person we’re supposed to be with — someone who’s not just in it for the night, but is in it for the long haul.

    • Bethany! Thank you for the comment! I do try telling myself that about the guys: I don’t want to be with a guy that wants to be with a girl that looks like that. I don’t want to be with someone that superficial and shallow. I have some attachment issues of my own when it comes to love and men and that’s a whole other story but I’m sure that is a part of everything – making me want what I know I can’t have and what I know I shouldn’t have, but I still want it nonetheless. And it’s not even a real kind of want – I’m sure no relationship would last long at all with a guy like that anyway. He would go running to another skinny fake boob girl a month later because that’s what they do! I’m hoping that this journey of intutive eating and self-love will help me to truly see this and be able to just love myself for me and not spend energy or time thinking about pointless what-ifs. And I love your last sentence that we are most attracted to the person we’re supposed to be with for the long haul – that’s true! I need to stop forcing feelings to come about and learn to just live and enjoy life as it is. Thank you for your thoughtful comment, dear! πŸ™‚ xoxo

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  21. Go in one direction: happiness.
    “YOU” don’t need to be a super model to be beautiful. Is one tree more beautiful that the other, because it look different? THINK POSITIVE!!! Only then You and everything around you will be happy and beautiful.

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  23. YESSSS! I am so SO proud of you honey! Ever since I read your post on the intermittent fasting thing, you’ve been on my mind and I’ll be honest, I was worried about you constantly! I know it must have been so difficult to post this video and be so honest with yourself about how you have handled things in the past, but I want you to know that I am behind you 100%! And don’t doubt for a minute that I won’t send you a WTFB email should I see that you’re starting to slip! Because this is real…this is the only life you get and you DESERVE to be happy!

    I mean, seriously, do you REALLY want to look back on your younger years and see all that time wasted over something that doesn’t even matter in the long run? I’ve been telling myself the exact same thing over the last week or so.

    I’m beginning to see things differently and I think I really need to see about getting that book or at least trying to look into the concept again, but more thoroughly. I’ve read about intuitive eating in the past, and I’ve “tried” it a few times, but always ended up giving up because I’m so disconnected with my body and my natural hunger cues since I’ve been subscribing to so many different views of…”you SHOULD eat THIS and NEVER eat THAT and ALWAYS eat at THIS time.” It’s exhausting, really! Food should just be FOOD…it shouldn’t be this hard…and it shouldn’t dictate so much of our lives!

    You’ve got this girl. You are strong. You are beautiful. And I love you! xoxo

  24. Hi Kammie, just managed to watch your vlog this morning. It is very honest of you. I know everyone succumbs to wanting to look like a media stereotype, even I have been guilty-around your age, but the best bit of advice I can give is everything in moderation and where jeans that are too tight for you.

    The jeans thing basically stops you feeling so hungry and look great. Im sure this will be covered in the book though.

    I look forward to following your journey and seeing more of your photography too, it’s incredible.


  25. Wow! I am right there with you on the counting and watching what I eat. I have been doing that all my life (over 40 years). Good luck! I will be checking back to see how your doing, but more importantly, how you are feeling!

    Happy SITSsharefest!



    • Thank you for stopping by Cathy! I do hope you come back to check on the progress πŸ™‚ It’s a great change and I totally recommend you look into Intuitive Eating as well to free yourself of the obsessions of counting.

  26. Well done – fantastic video Kammie, you are so right! I am so sick of the food/fitness fascists – fad diets, extremist ‘fitness’ regimes, judgmentalism on how a person’s value as a human being correlates with how much they weigh and how well-defined their ‘abs’ are – I already had been thinking along these lines so I would like to look into this book…will try to get hold of it. Thank you again, and more power to you!

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  28. Thankyou so much for uploading this. I’m an ED recoveree and seeing people say things like this is so incredibly refreshing. I wish you all the best in your endeavours πŸ™‚

    • Hey Carly, thank you for the comment and I wish you best of luck with recovery! I hope to see you back on the blog as I’m sure the new direction and approach the blog is going on will benefit you in your journey to self love and ED recovery πŸ™‚ xo

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  30. I just did Jamir’s 21 day intuitive eating challenge and am currently reading the book. Although this is something that is really tough for me (suffered through disordered eating/body image AND long time dieting) I know this is finally the right way to live. I am so done with down the yo yo diet mentality and guilt that comes along with it! I’m glad to see more and more people realizing this is the great escape from diet mentality!

    • Madi I applaud you for taking the step forward and respecting your body! It is VERY hard to do. I know myself. It’s easy to fall back into old habits, especially since we live in a world saturated with diet words and tips and tricks and everyone glamorizes losing weight, when really the thing that is not being glamorized enough is being HAPPY and comfortable in one’s skin! I wish you best of luck! πŸ™‚ It’s a journey but I believe it is worth it!!

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  32. Wow, that’s a powerful vlog. I applaud you on taking a stand, calling it out, & putting yourself out there. I feel you on not being comfortable w/your body & on having good days & losing some of the weight, only to end up overeating & gaining some back again. This happens to me a lot. I’ve lost over 50 lbs counting calories & have been doing it for years. Sometimes it works great for me, other times I feel too restricted & end up eating anything not nailed down. I don’t think intuitive eating would work for me though.. what keeps you accountable if you want to eat a jar of PB or a bag of trail mix? I’m afraid that’s what I’d end up doing… I can’t trust myself.

    • The book talks about that, in the beginning, you MIGHT actually end up eating all those things. But eventually you learn that food is will always be available for you, you can eat whatever you want whenever you want, and you will begin to trust that insight eventually and once you do, and once you put weight loss in the backburner, you will naturally stop obsessing over eating so much. Eating a whole jar of PB simply will not feel appealing to you. Since you will be feeling more of what your body wants and needs, you will be able to eat whatever amount satisfies your body and your mind and you will stop, knowing that you can always go back for more once you feel the need. It really is about trusting yourself. The book promises that once you truly learn to live this way, you will naturally and effortlessly come back to your natural weight, the weight you are supposed to be at, without the negative self-talk and guilt. Obviously, I’m not quite there yet, but that’s what they promise and that’s what I believe will happen. You will gain some weight in the beginning, I already have, but I already feel myself trusting myself more about food. It’s an ongoing process and I’d rather gain a few lbs and LEARN to have a good trusting relationship with my food and body for the rest of my life, not having to worry about counting calories, etc than losing weight and gaining it back constantly forever until I am too emotionally beat up and depressed to continue. I really think you should try it, or at least rent the book and read it, to see what you think. Hope you found this post and comment helpful πŸ™‚ Thank you for stopping by, Karey!

  33. I 100% understand and agree with every single thing you said. I’m doing Jamie’s IE challenge this month and cannot wait. I am SO DONE with obsessing over food, I am done with being less social because I’m afraid of the food situation, I am so ready to relax and stop judging myself. Thank you for such an honest video!

    • Let me know how it goes for you, I know a bunch of bloggers did it and are doing it this month too. I didn’t find out about it in time plus I’m tight on money so it’s not a good move for me right now but I’m trusting myself and taking it slow. It’s going well so far. Thank YOU for watching the vlog and the comment, dear!

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