Losing control because of trigger foods

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I lost control a little bit. I fell off the wagon the past two days pretty bad. I overate yesterday and today by a lot, unfortunately. While it’s not as bad as I used to have it, it’s still not pleasant and disappointing. However, I am not disappointed in myself as much as I used to be. I am only human. I have to remember that I am in control of my life and my habits.

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I figured out what My current trigger food is that led me to fall off: nut butter and honey. The combination together actually. Of course, sugar. Of course. Which just shows me how good of an idea it is to try to reduce sugar intake as much as possible from my life. While it might be hard, I can clearly see sugar is the culprit behind my failures and the temptation. I feel like once I have that combo, everything else falls out the window. I don’t know if it’s because it tastes so freaking good or if it’s because it’s so much sugar but it does it for me. It’s been hard to be in control ever since that first bite yesterday.

I’ve messed up countless times in my life but I can see the reason behind it. I think writing about it will help me regain control. I hope so. I will always appreciate any tips about regaining control from you guys too! This is what I always struggle with the most. Its not saying no to bad foods. It’s when I eat the wrong thing and it causes a small loss of control, the difficulty is always at the point where I regain back the control I lost and reset my mind back to thinking about all healthy and smart and portions.

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PS. I was searching some inspiration for staying fit and on track and stumbled upon some pro ana blogs. Really sad. It really makes me sad to see these girls posting their daily food diaries in which they burn more calories than they eat. One girl’s calorie deficit was -1950. Crazy. I feel sad and I hope they get help 🙁 I would not want to ever be in that situation and I feel for everyone who has had to go through that, I know it’s very common. While I have had an ED-NOS it’s not as extreme as anorexia or bulimia.

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14 Comments

  1. Were all human and fall off the wagon! At least you know what you did and care about it. For me, I have fallen off the exercise wagon. So irritated with myself. I just have so many other things I need to do and there doesn’t seem to be enough time in the day. I know my issues and what the problem is I just have to deal with it. As for eating, my biggest downfall is eating to much of anything, even healthy. I get bored and eat. I offered to make my husband cookies, just so I can have some sweet cookie dough. I’m not hungry, I don’t need it, yet I want it. I don’t eat the cookies, so that’s my justification, I just eat the dough, which is worse. At least peanut butter and honey isn’t that bad! Try licking bowls of cookie dough and yesterday, double chocolate fudge cupcakes I had to make for my Husbands work. Bowl licking again!! Horrible. Oddly enough I do better on the weekend, and this weekend I am going to eat well, and exercise! No more excuses. Thanks Kammie for your post, I needed it!!!

    • No, thank you! While honey and PB are my trigger foods, I won’t even get into what I sometimes eat after I get in the “eat just to eat more” mode. It’s annoying but yes, healthy or not, eating too much of anything makes me feel like that, you’re right. Hopefully we will both get out of this rut and keep going strong 🙂 no more excuses! Let’s get it going! Thank you so much for reading, Jen!

  2. I haven’t commented on your blog before, so I will start by simply saying “Hello!” I’ve struggled with Anorexia off and on for over 10 yrs. I’m currently in my 4yr of recovery and doing pretty well. When I was in the depths of my eating disorder, I would get so ravenous from restricting for days on end that I would go into a panic and start frantically rummaging through my cabinets to find something, anything, to eat. Those were some really dark days and I never, EVER, want to go back there. Now, I try to eat a fairly balanced diet, however, I have a few chronic illnesses that really affect my digestion and my intestinal motility is severely delayed. I have to be careful with insoluble fiber as it can cause impactions and obstructions. I also have a handful of food sensitivities such as wheat and gluten intolerance and I often fall off the gluten-free wagon. Sure, I ended up physically feeling bad, but I don’t beat myself up anymore, like I used to. Instead, I kind of baby myself a bit as I know I’m not going to feel well for a while and start over again.

    I still deal with lots of body image issues as I also have Body Dysmorphic Disorder and continue to struggle in that sense. I still hear the “ED” voice sometimes telling me that this thing has too many calories, or that thing has too much fat in it. I take a deep breath, remind myself that my body needs good fats and calories in order to function. I’ve also taken up yoga and that’s really helped my with anxiety. I follow a bunch of foodie blogs that deal with food allergies/intolerances as well as vegan. I’m not a vegan, but I’m pretty darn close to it. One of my favorite blogs to follow is “Chocolate covered Katie” as she provides all kinds of yummy goodies, but in healthier versions, so I don’t feel guilty indulging on one of her recipes. The great thing about her recipes is that they are often made for one person!

    My best advice for after a binge, or even just eating something “naughty” and feeling guilty afterwards, or feeling out of control, is to try not to beat yourself up about it. Instead, pamper yourself and start again with the next meal, the next day, etc. Take a deep breath, and once you think things over, you’ll realize that it wasn’t that bad, and sometimes the reason behind the binge is that your body was lacking in something to begin with. Another thing I’ve done is keep healthy snacks on hand. Things like fruit, applesauce, granola, greek yogurt. If I’ve craving something sweet, I’ll go for the greek yogurt with a serving of Udi’s Gluten-Free Vanilla granola and it satisfies my sweet tooth as well as providing nutrition and extra calcium! Hang in there!

    • Wow, thank you so so much for reading and commenting, Kerrilynn! Sharing your own experience is a very valuable thing and I really appreciate you telling me all of this. I’m glad to hear your recovery is going well and I’m sure it will only get better with time. You’re right we all have fallbacks but it’s that we keep going and want to be healthy is what keeps us up and allows us to get back on track.

      I hope to hear from you in the future posts, I love when I have new readers comment 🙂

      xo

  3. Sounds like you grabbed the reins back quickly Kammie. Everyone slips up sometimes. I find sugar is a big trigger for me too – if I have something really sweet I just keep going back for more. Today will be a better day!

  4. Good for you for recognizing what was going on and stopping! I think for me, something that helps me the most with binges is remembering that, even if you have one unhealthy thing or overeat at one meal, the entire day isn’t lost. Just pick right back up again at your next meal. The same goes for an unhealthy day- doesn’t mean you can’t start the next day fresh and healthily!

  5. The pro ana blogs make me really sad too. And there are SO MANY. I see pinners or instagrams who used those mediums solely for that.

    It seems like you’re really good at recognizing when you’ve taken a little detour from the path you wanted to take. And that’s fantastic! We’re all human, we all make mistakes. But some people don’t always learn from them – it looks like you are!

    • Thank you for the encouragement 🙂 I do try to be as aware and conscious of everything about my body. I hope to learn about myself as much as possible to grow better and healthier.

  6. You live, you make mistakes, you learn, you live. It’s okay to slip up sometimes or treat yourself! I don’t know what exactly your ED situation was, but sometimes your mind can’t handle being perfect about everything 100% of the time and you just need to move on. 🙂 As long as you tune into what exactly the slip up was, you can avoid it in the future, which you obviously have. You’re doing great despite the teeny blip on the radar!

    • Thank you Chelsea! I’m definitely making this all a learning experience. Writing about it has helped a lot too, it makes it real and it makes me feel accountable.

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