I realize I have not been very good about posting lately but I am not entirely sorry. I don’t even have a good excuse. Work keeps me semi-busy, school keeps me semi-busy, and photography keeps me semi-busy. It’s all semi-busy though, I could lie and say I’m totally swamped with everything but that’s not even true – I have plenty of time on my hands. Plenty enough to have gone to a job interview yesterday and got hired as a server at a brand new sports lounge opening up in December! My first serving job. I’m not proud or anything but I figured extra cash will definitely help me out especially since I only shoot once a week now.
Second thing, I recently signed up for my last semester of classes at my school. Yes, I will be a graduating senior next semester. The feeling is bittersweet. I am ready to leave but I’m not ready at the same time. I enjoy school, I enjoy learning. I realize that learning never truly stops (thank God) but I know I will be leaving a big part of me when I graduate. It’s hard to think I’ve finally made it. Real life will be begin shortly and I am anxious yet excited. I’m much more mature for my age as it is and I am interested to see how real life will play out for me. A career and all… we will see! I am keeping an open mind.
I wonder where on earth I will end up 5 years from now. Is it weird that I never think about these types of things? Seriously, I don’t think about the future in any concrete terms. Ever. I am goal-oriented but my goals are usually short-term. I don’t ever think about what life will be like next year, 5 years from now, much less 10 years from now. I simply have no idea. Not a single clue. I have never thought about it. Part of it might be because I know life is something we are unable to control and there is no point planning it out so far ahead. Another part of it might be because I still am unsure of where I want to go in life and I don’t want to feel the pressure of thinking I need to have it all figured out now. But I am worried that another reason for this might be that I am afraid of what it might bring as well – I never think about finding “the one” in concrete terms, or starting a family, etc – I’m not one of those girls who have their wedding planned out since they were 12. I haven’t given a wedding a second thought. And it’s strange because I like watching those wedding shows like David Tutera (I’d love for him to design mine!) but I don’t actually think about mine in any sort of terms. Is that weird? I feel like I’m not a real girl sometimes, haha, especially when girls around me always swoon and talk about this type of stuff but yet for me… I simply don’t have a plan. For life. I just go with it. Go along with my short-term goals and just float along. One year at a time.
That brings me to another thing to think about… my roommate recently told me her auntie (who is her guardian) got her life insurance. I don’t really know much about it at all. But she seemed upset about it. Well, maybe upset isn’t the right word – she seemed confused and concerned. She joked that she hoped her auntie wasn’t planning on murdering her so she could get paid (terrible thing to joke about lol she has an interesting sense of humor, that girl) but I didn’t really see much wrong in it. It’s good to be protected although as I said my opinion of this type of protection is rather intangible simply because I am not informed. I wonder if my parents have it on me? Would I know? Or whether they have it on themselves? How would I know anyway, I just have to ask, right? I guess. Well, moral of this story is – I hope no one dies soon 🙂 Wow, that was one strange paragraph huh.
I’ll stop babbling about the arbitrary future and go on to what you are probably the most interested in…
Clay Jensen returns home from school to find a strange package with his name on it lying on his porch. Inside he discovers several cassette tapes recorded by Hannah Baker – his classmate and crush – who committed suicide two weeks earlier. Hannah’s voice tells him that there are thirteen reasons why she decided to end her life. Clay is one of them. If he listens, he’ll find out why. Clay spends the night crisscrossing his town with Hannah as his guide. He becomes a firsthand witness to Hannah’s pain, and learns the truth about himself-a truth he never wanted to face.
I liked this book. It was easy to read. Not only because the font seemed slightly larger than other books I’ve been reading lately but also because it just flowed. It was an interesting and original concept and it was gripping to an extent. I wouldn’t say it was the biggest thriller or mysterious read of the year. I can’t say I was as enticed with this book as many other bloggers seemed to be. I enjoyed it. I read it in a matter of a few days. But I could also tell it was meant for a younger audience. And while I’m not far off the “young adult” market, this book just seemed too young for me to fully enjoy. While it’s about suicide – a difficult subject to talk about and impossible to take lightly – I simply did not get into the storyline as much as I probably should have. I didn’t really see Hannah’s actions as justified through her explanations. I kept thinking, why? I understand that some kids have it tougher than others and some are unable to deal with circumstances as well as some others, but I just wasn’t feeling it. It didn’t seem totally genuine to me. It wasn’t shocking enough. But this could be because the book I read previously was 19 Minutes by Jodi Picoult which was about a boy who was bullied and shot up a school. His extreme circumstances might have lead me to read 13 Reasons Why with a grain of salt – simply because Hannah’s story was not nearly as intense or sad as the story of the boy from 19 Minutes.
Disclaimer: part of this post was sponsored.