Our perception of attractiveness is manipulated – this is so interesting!

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Our perception of attractiveness is manipulated --- This is so interesting!

Oh, society. The pressure you put on us. Women, men, children – we are all pressured to be a certain way, to act in a certain manner, to say the proper things, and to feel ashamed and guilty when we don’t comply. Unfortunately, this is the world we live in – bound by expectations and disappointments.. or is it?

While we are lead to believe that this is true, over the last couple of months when I was starting out my blog, I am seeing more and more clearly how much of this is actually bullshit. The world is lead by manipulation by the media. And I don’t mean it by an entirely negative sense, because it can be liberating to see this as what is happening. Of course, this is my opinion and you might disagree.

Sexiness in the media

Everyday, we are faced with images of beautiful thin women and lean muscular male sex-gods in media  – we are told what to see as beautiful and sexy.

I’ve been noticing how much we are truly influenced by the media into seeing what is “sexy” and attractive at the moment.

Magazines and Entertainment TV always has phases for different “hot” celebrities. But the truth is, many of these celebrities don’t always look all that amazing or sexy. I mean, I’ve seen better looking people in the bars in Chicago.

Then next month, again, the media puts their focus on another star and promote the hell out of him/her and they tell us how sexy that person is, how amazing this person is, how attractive they are, and (key note) they tell us how everyone is crazy for them.

As social creatures, we lead by example; human beings are made to mimic others, to model others’ behaviors. When we learn that everyone is going crazy bananas for this one person because they apparently are so “sexy” and desirable, we are inclined to think that way too. Even when, in reality, not that many people think that person is all that sexy. At least not yet. But through all of the manipulation and encouragement and influence from the media, we begin to oblige – why yes, that person IS pretty attractive after all, huh? After all, we’ve seen them for how many weeks now since that person is all the media has been talking about lately.

Eventually, we will definitely think of the person more positively and be more inclined to think of them as attractive. Surely, not everyone will jump on the bandwagon, but a large majority of people will, simply because they are told to do so.

The “godliness” of Ryan Gosling

A great example here is Ryan Gosling. He was the star of The Notebook and I didn’t see that many people gushing over him back then. Some people might have thought he was hot, sure. But I didn’t. And most of my friends didn’t.

Then recently, the “whole world” went crazy for Ryan Gosling; everyone thinks he is the hottest thing to hit the streets. But wait, but wasn’t he around a few years ago? And people didn’t really care back then, so why now?

Well, media started blasting news about him and his “sexiness”. Of course, his roles in various movies made him out as super desirable and sexy too. So now, all of the sudden, every girl and her mother thinks Ryan Gosling is the most attractive guy on planet.

BUT PEOPLE! The guy looks exactly the same as he did back then! Exactly the same! Why now? I, for one, did not think of Ryan Gosling as all that. I didn’t. Until everyone and their mom KEPT and KEPT talking about him and how sexy he is. I didn’t think he was but eventually the influence won over, and yes, I too am now under the impression that Ryan Gosling is hot shit (although not to the extent that some other women do).

Robert Pattinson – sexy vampires?

Another example that will work perfectly here is Robert Pattinson. He was the star of the movie Twilight that all young females have gone wild for. I read the books before the movie came out and I was absolutely psyched for the movie to come out.

Edward Cullen, in the books, was supposed to be the most beautiful man you have ever seen. Then we get Rob Pattinson on the movie.


He is the most beautiful man we have ever seen? I was so disappointed, I was never as disappointed in my life (okay, that might be an exaggeration, but you get what I mean). And I don’t mean to say he is bad looking. Well okay, I personally don’t find him that attractive. But who am I to say who’s sexy and who isn’t? Everyone has their own types and everyone likes different things.

Anyway, Rob’s charm and beauty definitely is unique and somewhat “specific”. I wouldn’t say that this guy would be coined as attractive and sexy by the masses if he didn’t play Edward Cullen in Twilight. But of course, the world went crazy and Rob is the sexiest man of all time because he is this sexy teenage vampire and playing “the most beautiful man ever” as coined by Stephanie Mayer, author of Twilight.

Again, if we weren’t being influenced and told over and over again that this man is supposed to be attractive and sexy, I doubt most of us would actually think so on our own. Now Rob Pattinson is being used in Fiftyp0rn pictures along with his girlfriend (and Twilight co-star) Kristen Stewart, as fan quotes and images to go along with Fifty Shades of Grey.

Again in Fifty Shades, Christian Grey is supposed to be the most beautiful man anyone has ever seen. Really, so all fans naturally go with Rob Pattinson because he clearly is the most beautiful in the world right? His attractive looks are just so very universal… People, his description does NOT even match the one in Fifty Shades! WTF? Who is making these FiftyPorn pics? Have they READ the book?

Credit: The Cold Shower

Sudden change in perception

Then there are stars that weren’t thought of as attractive in high school, or even college – they were regular people until fame hit and that person played some huge role and then suddenly their attractiveness level has skyrocketed even though they look exactly the same now as they did then. It’s all influence.

This is a total rant, I don’t even know where it’s coming from, but yes, sometimes a girl has these thinking spurts and thankfully I have a blog to unleash all of that.


Choosing your mate based on the media

Anyway, I know some people that totally go along with these phases and “hotness” trends and choose their boyfriends/girlfriends because of the current hot trend that is going on. I know some people that want to date someone simply because that person looks like xyz celebrity and they don’t even care about how that person is inside, who they are, what they like, etc etc.

Many times they end up breaking up because the trend is over. On to the next one… but the person is still there, still the same person and then they really notice that the only reason they were dating is because of LOOKS alone. Sometimes it doesn’t end up like that and the person they date is actually great, but that’s not always the case.

It’s sad that some people date according to what the current trend is. I recently dated a guy that looks like a mix of Ryan Gosling and Matthew Mcconaughey and when I told people that they would be like “oh wow, amazing, what a catch” but no, you cant judge him based on his LOOKS! Since when do someone’s looks tells you about whether the person is a good man or a great match for you??

Don’t compare yourself to the trends

Second point of this rant – don’t feel bad for not looking like xyz celebrity. Don’t compare yourself to xyz because they are so “hot” right now. That trend will pass.

If the person is universally attractive, they will remain perceived as attractive but it’s important to realize that these trends change more often than seasons change and a trend for everything will come eventually.

It’s important to stay true to yourself and not try to be like someone else. Just be you!

Don’t act a certain way because that’s how xyz was acting in that movie and she’s so hot and everyone wants her. She is a fantasy. The only reason the “whole world” thinks she’s amazing and hot is because that’s what we are told to believe and think. We don’t even know how that person is in real life, how she/he acts.

And besides, why would you want to be a clone of someone else. So much for individuality.

Stay true to yourselves, friends. Don’t compare yourselves to others. Especially not celebrities. Look within yourself and find happiness in who YOU truly are! 🙂

Have a lovely day 🙂

Last Updated on March 27, 2019

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  1. haha you are so in my head with this one! I think we can also add channing tatum to this list…even though I am a huge fan and always was…the second he’s in another movie there’s a media firestorm over how gorgeous he is. OLD NEWS! I like depth when it comes to celebrities/actors/actresses. Play a challenging role with skill and I am yours forever. If they are great looking, then that’s an added bonus.

    • I agree – a lot of the actors are also playing the same role over and over again. As much as I like to look at them (think Ryan Reynolds), I feel like every movie is the SAME exact dude he’s playing but that is a whole other story hahaha

  2. Thanks for this post. So true. I hope you believe everything that you are saying! Sometimes it’s easier to give advice versus taking advice. : )

  3. Awesome post and very true. I would agree that the media distorts our perception of reality and even of ourselves. I think I was affected by the media’s “forceful celebrity attractiveness” more when I was younger – I am now able to distinguish my own personal attraction towards a celebrity from the “common belief.” I must say though, Ryan Gosling has had my heart for a veerrryy long time already 😉

  4. hey girl!! it is SOOO TRUE that we brainwash (or let others brainwash us) ourselves to think and believe in a certain way. And in the end, although the media is to blame–it’s not the end all because who is actually demanding that sort of media? It is us–the public! So it’s like media and people go in a circle of insanity trying to portray what’s “beautiful” and what’s not. And thank you for being so honest and true to yourself! And reminding us to do the same as well. 🙂

  5. I totally agree with you. But, I always thought those two were super attractive. My type? Lolz. I stay away from the media influence a lot, because I’m just not like that. I have a feeling you aren’t either. Sometimes my friends go crazy over people and I’m like, “..Yeah but he’s ugly.” and they’re like, “Uh he was in this.” and I’m like, “DON’TCARE.” Anyways, I applaud your rant!
    Also, fun fact.. Fifty Shades of Grey was a Twilight-based fanfic that got turned into a book. Apparently the author just changed the names and published it. Isn’t that weird?

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