What your self-talk can do to you…

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We all have it.

Every single human in the world has their very own self-talk that is continually going.

It can be positive, negative, it can build you up, bring you down, make you smile, make you sing, make you cry, make you go completely bonkers but can also make you incredibly successful, happy and motivated.

You know what I am talking about right? That little angel or devil on your shoulder, telling you what you can or can’t do.

We make our way through each day with what we say to ourselves in our head. We make lists, recall memories, think, plan, prioritise, organise, tell ourselves off, give ourselves a pat on the back, laugh… it never stops. Our brain never stops this constant self-talk. We need it, it’s what makes us get up, move, sleep, eat, drive, work, play… it’s what makes us live.

What your self-talk can do to you

Self-talk also determines how we feel. It controls our confidence, self esteem, ability to socialise, our anger, our joy – basically our overall happiness.

It’s so important that we give our self-talk some attention and take control over it. Your self-talk, like your brain, is linked. Every word you say to yourself in your head gets linked to feelings and these feelings, well, they make us feel how we feel. Now I don’t know if you know, but words have energy, I’m not going all crazy here, but it’s true – trust me, even the ones you don’t say out loud can literally turn water black. I have seen and done my own home experiments on this.

What is your self-talk saying to you? Is your self-talk positive? Is it negative? Does it go around in circles? Are you too tough on yourself? Are you too easy on yourself? This in fact is just as bad. Do you manage it?

Are you in charge???

Our mind is the control centre… Our unconscious mind listens to our self-talk and gives it power without us knowing. The unconscious mind is a million times more powerful than the conscious mind and we operate 95 percent of our lives off of it. We need to learn to work with our unconscious mind, we need to recognize what it is saying. It is always there to serve and protect but if you have a bad memory from your childhood stored in there it could potentially be holding you back.

Our self-talk is so insanely powerful, it can turn a simple situation into a nightmare. (click to tweet)

I recently write a book (Gratitude by Jessica Groom) on what I have learnt over the past year. Actually, it only took me 6 months to have a complete life turnaround.

For the past few years I have been working my ass off running very successful businesses, working myself into the ground for other people’s gain. One day my body decided I needed a break and I ended up in hospital having a stroke at the age of just 31. This wasn’t exactly a wake-up call for me. When I finally got out of hospital I went straight back to work. Not the best idea now that I look back.

But I kept on going, I kept on working myself into the ground until one day I finally had enough and quit my job to go traveling. I had the most amazing time. I loved it, I didn’t have to work and all I had to do every day was decide where to go to next – what a life right? One would think so, but this still wasn’t enough for me and I had to learn one more life-altering lesson before I started to look at life differently.

Taking back control over your own self-talk takes dedication and hard work. If you have been training your brain to respond in certain away for over 20 years, it can’t change overnight. You really need to be dedicated to this change.

When you feel happy – truly happy, you will do whatever it takes to stay feeling that way. (click to tweet)

Studies show that being happy isn’t necessarily a constant state, and if we think we are happy 24/7 then we are simply fooling ourselves. Sounds strange but it’s true.

We need to have ups and downs in order to truly feel good and be able to tell the difference. (click to tweet)

This also shows that we don’t need to be happy all of the time and we can have bad days. The trick is not to be consumed by them.

How to challenge your self-talk:

  1. Whenever you find yourself feeling angry, anxious or upset, STOP and become aware of what is happening.
  2. Are you sure? Have you got any real evidence for this panic or have you gone and jumped to a conclusion.
  3. Ask yourself, what else could this mean? Why am I having these thoughts? Does it make sense? (i.e., if the counter has not been wiped down, should you feel betrayal?)
  4. What is the worst that could happen? What is the best that could happen?
  5. What can you do to solve the problem?
  6. RECOGNISE – your current way of thinking way be self-defeating.
  7. CONQUER – if you continually challenge your self-talk your brain

Peace and Love,


Question for you:

  • Do you ever feel overwhelmed by your self-talk? Or do you usually have complete control over it?

Let us know in the comments!

Jessica Groom

Author Bio –

Meet Jessica Groom: I love PINK, picnics, friends, family, singing, Sex and the City…

I want you to know the secret to being happy. I want you to be able to take a look around you and think, ‘wow, I am so lucky’. I now say this to myself every day, my life circumstances haven’t changed dramatically, I didn’t win the lottery or move into a big new house, I’ve just learnt what it takes to be and feel happy and I work on it EVERY DAY. I will continue to thank my lucky stars for all that I have. I’ve suffered from anxiety and depression and I hit rock bottom, but… the good thing is, I learnt from this experience and no longer look at it as a mistake, but more of a life lesson. I am proud to be where I am.

I studied counseling back in Ireland, Neuro Linguistic Programming and Hypnosis here in Sydney. I use all that I have learnt in these areas in my program. I may not have any fancy letters after my name but you can trust me

I want to make the world a happier place.

Come join me.

Peace and Love, Jessica
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Last Updated on March 29, 2019

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    Ive also seen how my self-talk when it comes out of my…talkhole impacts how the CHILD talks to herself too.

  2. I do at times feel overwhelmed by my self talk. I tell myself “I can’t do that”, or “I’m not Ready!” it can leave me feeling unmotivated and deflated. I’ve been working on better self talk for awhile and it has made a difference in my life.

  3. “Self-talk also determines how we feel. It controls our confidence, self esteem, ability to socialise, our anger, our joy – basically our overall happiness” – so, so true! I need to frame this and read it every single day to remind myself of this. Thanks for the uplifting post!

  4. This is such a beautiful post. I have worked on improving my self talk for so long and this post was very inspirational on not giving up my journey to fully positive self talk.

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