A few months ago, I gave up on dieting and picked up the Intuitive Eating book. The book was very eye opening and enlightening. The intuitive eating approach seemed like the perfect approach for me – I like food, I have a history of losing and gaining weight, and the restricting and bingeing behaviors. The relationship with food and exercise I had in the previous years was disordered and lead me to some depressive thoughts, feelings of guilt and shame, as well as low self-esteem.
When you restrict for extended periods of time, you end up binging and filled with guilt. I have had countless occurrences where my eating habits and poor self-image have prevented me from leaving my apartment. I have refrained from attending numerous social events because I felt that I was too fat to have friends or have fun (I was 15 pounds over my goal weight, at the most). I now realize how ridiculous this sounds. There is no such thing as being too fat to have friends, what the hell?! Like I said, my mentality was very disordered and my thinking and emotions were ruled by how I ate that particular day and what the scale said.
Fast forward to the breaking point. I have worked on rejecting the dieting mentality and allowing myself to eat whatever I want. I gained a few pounds in the process. Trying not to worry about it. I stopped exercising because I simply focused on listening to my body. In the past, I associated exercise with weight loss exclusively and I did not really see or do it for any other reasons. Because I stopped thinking about dieting, I also stopped exercising to let my thoughts go back to neutral and become as non-judgmental as possible. I worked on stopping my emotional eating (still a work in progress). I listened to self-hypnosis for intuitive eating with the purpose of clearing emotional roadblocks (which I absolutely recommend!).
Everything was going great until my trip to New York City during which I indulged a lot and seemed to have lost some of the intuitive eating practice I newly acquired.
Where am I with IE right NOW?
I have had some issues with recovering from the extended splurging during my visit to NYC, the endless delicious dinners (Part 1 & Part 2) and the amazing indulgent desserts, and the unforgettable chocolate tour, put me in ecstasy and bliss but lead me to forgetting some intuitive eating principles.
I keep trying to fight off the thoughts about going on another diet or counting calories. I have not gone back to any diet since beginning IE but I have had thoughts about it from time to time which can be a bit annoying. Also, I keep trying not to be too judgmental about how I look right now. While I don’t know how much I weigh since I threw away the scale, I do see my clothes fitting tighter than they did when I was in the midst of my dieting/restricting behaviors. It’s a bit discouraging to see them fit more tightly but I have been trying to stay positive nonetheless. I know this is a part of the process and I trust it.
Because of these recent struggles and wanting to get back on the Intuitive Eating path of life full-on and without uncertainty, I have decided to take Jamie’s 21 Day Intuitive Eating Challenge. Some of the things will be review for me but I know I need the reminders and the reassurance that I AM on the right path. I also believe that going through this challenge with others will be more helpful and beneficial than doing it alone, like I was doing it before.
Wish me luck 🙂